two decades and some odd years ago, i began to hold my breath.

it was a gradual change. i barely noticed because i was paying attention to other things, thoughts…fears.

but spirit has a way of gnawing at me, tapping me feverishly on my shoulder. it’s like that long breath i was holding was bursting through my lungs.

so i let it go. i am letting it go.

breathing is instinctual from birth. somewhere along the line, during an inhale, i started to live my life for others. for the other.

it became automatic, like second nature. but still not instinctual.

because my natural instinct, the creative force, needed to come out, needed to exhale.

needed to breathe.

so i listened. i finally listened. and released her from my lungs, through my throat, through my nostrils and my mouth.

i need to create to breathe. and to breathe is to live.

i need to allow myself to exhale as much as i inhale.

………………so this is is what it’s like to recognize your breath.

–a m e e